Monday, April 17, 2017

On a Roll....

Last week, I was hungry and grouchy and negative and did I already say hungry? It was "Day 1" of my new eating plan and I was resenting it, big time. Your comments were so uplifting and thank you if you commented! And the next day was a little easier, and the next easier...and now it's been 8 days on this new program. I'm over 3 pounds thinner, which is a nice start, but the best part is I feel calmer- more level. I feel prepared. I've found recipes that don't make me feel like I'm suffering. Suddenly all the foods I was longing for don't seem as important as they did last week. 

Case in point- Easter Sunday. Before my Grandmother passed away, every year she would make a ricotta pie on Easter. It was my favorite. I would never turn it down, no matter what diet I was currently following. It was special- an indulgence I always allowed myself. This year, with my Grandma gone, there was nothing specific I felt I MUST HAVE, so before-hand I decided I would do my best to stick to my plan. I made a delicious and colorful fruit salad to bring to my in-laws for dessert and I decided that would be all I had in that department. Nary a chocolate bunny passed through these lips! I did partake in one glass of sangria punch at my sister's house- it was divine. 

Food, weight, dieting- these are "heavy" issues for me (haha) and while there are no simple solutions, at the moment, I'm feeling really proud that I am working on this and giving it my all. While there are still rolls to contend with, and though I may long for a roll (especially a warm one with a pat of butter), I'm on a roll and making positive changes. Drum roll please! :)

Monday, April 10, 2017

Hungry #SOL17

I'd like to write about something else, but I am hungry. Today was the first day of what I am not supposed to call a "diet" but, instead, a lifestyle change. The thing is, I don't want to change my lifestyle- I just want to be thinner while doing exactly what I've been doing. Apparently, that plan isn't going to work. I will have to put forth far greater effort, and eat much less of the food I love, to see pounds drop away. 

I am a hard worker. I am used to putting forth great effort...but with things that make me feel successful or tasks that seem important- like helping others. Why does my own health and fitness not seem important to me? Or is it that the "comforting" foods help me accomplish all the other work I take on? Is there some part of me that feels like being thin would be tempting fate too much and would result in some tragedy?

The day I finished our Slice of Life Story Challenge for March, I felt so proud of that accomplishment. A very good friend of mine, who has lost over 100 pounds and changed her life, questioned me when I asked how she stayed so dedicated. "You just blogged for 31 days. It's what you prioritize." That kind of stayed with me, annoyingly so. Why didn't I prioritize losing weight? If I put forth the same dedication that I do to other aspects of my life, would I be successful?

So here I am. Day 1 down. So many days more to go. A lot of weight to lose and a lot of work to do. When I took graduate credits towards my Masters +75, I knew it would take a long time and I took it class by class. Why am I so impatient with weight- want it all gone tomorrow! Why don't I embrace the journey as I do in nearly everything else I do? 

I hate being hungry and I hate being negative, and tonight, I'm feeling both.