Courage Doesn't Always Roar: A Teacher's Quest to Be Better Each Day

When I was in the third grade, we were finally allowed to choose an instrument to learn to play. My choice: the drums! My mother's choice for me: the clarinet. She didn't think girls played the drums. So I took clarinet lessons.  It was difficult. Hard to blow air, move my fingers, make the right type of sound. "Hot Cross Buns" came out slow and torturous, yet the only song I could play. Practicing was hard and joyless and my family likened my playing to a dying duck on its last quack. At music report card time, I was delighted to see I got all As in clarinet playing! My mother was flabbergasted as to how I earned those grades. She actually went up to school to have my grades changed... to be made lower! She couldn't understand how my clarinet playing earned an A. I was quite unhappy to see my grades changed to the mediocre "C"s. Shortly afterwards, I quit the clarinet, and the hearing world rejoiced, as did worried ducks everywhere who were ...

   Next week, I will have the opportunity to be the mom who brings a story and snack to the preschool class! I asked my son, Alex, what book I should bring to share with his friends. He thought about it and then suggested, "What about the book about the dinosaur who bakes cookies?"  Alex was referring to Mo Willems' Edwina: The Dinosaur Who Didn't Know She Was Extinct. If you don't know this story, it is about a boy who knows everything about everything, Reginald Von Hoobie Doobie and a popular, beloved dinosaur named Edwina. Reginald could not understand why the townspeople loved Edwina, who was clearly extinct. No one would listen to him....except Edwina who ends up being a listener who lets Reginald have his say.  But is she convinced she is extinct? To find out what happens to Reginald and Edwina, you have to read the book!  So, Alex's book choice was set. I'm also reading to Megan's nursery school class since it will be her birthday. F...

This is the girl who wakes up with a fluffy mess of blonde waves, like a halo around her head. This is the girl who was the baby, bald as a cueball, who I adorned with giant flower headbands until she was old enough to yank them off in protest.  I also sometimes made her wear hats with large flowers. This is the girl who watches me apply make up and wants to put some on, too. The girl who laughs hysterically when I flip my hair over while drying it and when I flip up with a mess of curls not so different from her wake-up hair. The girl who exclaims with glee, "I FOUND YOU!" as her little face appears in the bathroom door, as if I wasn't just down the hall with her a few moments before.  This is the girl who looks at my feet and tells me I need lotion. Who stares at my nail polish and wonders if my nails will ever go back to the way they were and can hers get colored too please? Who runs her tiny hand over my blouse and says, "Silky!" and loves t...

The me I dream to be wears clothes several sizes smaller than the me I am. Sleeveless dresses reveal toned arms on the me I dream to be. The me I dream to be can pick anything out of the closet without fear it will not fit or emphasize the wrong features. Everything looks good on the me I dream to be. The me I dream to be never has to search for a working pen- there are plenty of pens that work, stored in organized places. The classroom is bright, cheerful, orderly, and full of perfectly prepared anchor charts for every subject. There are no piles or papers out of order in the me I dream to be's classroom. The me I dream to be has perfectly organized digital files too and an inbox with only the most recent messages.  The me I dream to be is equally good at every subject and enjoys teaching every subject, differentiating various components of the lesson for diverse learners. The me I dream to be meets everyone's needs in ways that still makes learning joyful and relevant. ...

It's 2:10 and dismissal inches closer. My classroom floor is littered in pencils, books, papers, textbooks, reading bags, snack bags. Each day I feel my blood pressure rising a few notches as I try to remind my third graders to pick up their things over their gleeful, packing up chatter. It's always messy, it feels chaotic, and it's in sharp contrast to the organized, peaceful way our day begins.  This year, after reading Paul Solarz's Learn Like a Pirate , I've given up more ownership of the classroom to the students. My desk is now their desk- truly. It's called the Student Supply Center and we all have access to the materials on there. I don't sit there, not that I ever sat at the desk when it was MY desk anyway. I've assigned them many jobs I used to do and it is a good, positive thing for all of us. Still, dismissal has remained chaotic and the classroom left messy.   Today, I stopped them before they could begin packing up. I explained we wer...

My son Alex calls it my "talking club" but it's really so much more! Voxer has been a game-changer for me in terms of personalizing my professional development and strengthening connections to my friends across the miles. Voxer is an app for your phone and I've also accessed it from my desktop. It is a way for you to share your ideas orally with a person or group. People listen as they have the chance and then share back. You can post links and photos.  Just tonight, I posed a question to my "All Things Literacy" group, including JoEllen McCarthy, Susan Dee, Aliza Werner, Kristen Picone, and Jason Lewis. They are a powerhouse group of knowledge and passion when it comes to literacy! I trust that when I'm struggling with a question or issue, they will listen and offer sound advice. They know their stuff, and they help me think through my questions. How amazing, at the press of the button, to be able to talk to such gifted professionals, at any t...

Back in the day when I was a single teacher, I drove a Saturn SC2. It had 3 doors (a quirky feature I loved), was sporty, low to the ground, and small. Nowadays, as a married mom with two little kids, I drive an Acadia. It is big, with three rows, and it's high off the ground. I never thought I would like driving such a large car, but now it would be hard to downsize after getting used to it! There are also some features that make driving the Acadia lovely. Onstar is awesome for people like me with zero sense of direction ("Yes, please update directions since I turned at the wrong time!") and we also have SiriusXM. I've been delighted to discover that Billy Joel now has his own SiriusXM station!  This morning, I listened as Billy Joel described the story behind some of his songs. He spoke about trying to emulate other styles of singers. In particular, he mentioned "You've Lost That Loving Feeling" and "Addicted to Love." I thought it was s...

Most of the time, when I look at what's trending on Facebook, the stories are sordid or vapid. "Kim Kardashian dyes her hair blonde" would be an example of a trending story that, to me, just isn't really newsworthy. Most of the time, it's not worth my time to check out any of these "trending" stories. But there's been one that has captivated my interest and profoundly touched my heart. Back in October, what was trending was country singer Joey Feek would not seek further treatment for cervical cancer which had spread. I had never heard of Joey Feek before seeing this on Facebook. Reading her story, I learned that she was only 40 years old and married to Rory Feek and together they were the duo Joey + Rory. They had an adorable baby girl, named Indiana, who happened to have Downs Syndrome.  I didn't know anything about Joey Feek, except she was talented, beautiful, and in an impossibly unfair situation. But her husband, Rory Feek, h...

I first learned about six word memoirs when I was training to be a graduate school instructor through NYSUT's Education Learning Trust, while almost 8 months pregnant with my son. My 6 word memoir then was: "New chapters, about to be written." We were supposed to introduce ourselves to the rest of the group through our six word memoir.  Tonight, words aren't flowing easy as exhaustion sets in.  Another night where my bulging work bag won't find any release, the papers will remain inside, undone. I don't know what thoughts I can string together to say anything very meaningful, yet I've promised to write and share for 31 days. Stuck on Day 4 for inspiration, so six word memoirs to the rescue.  Here are some key moments in my life, told through six word memoirs: Childhood: My world a safe, happy place.  High School: Goody Two Shoes, broke no laws College: Get knocked down, get up again First year teacher: Not what I imagined....so hard ...

A song that I hold dear is "My Favorite Things" from "The Sound of Music." I must admit, I've sung it to myself at many times in my life, when I needed to feel braver. This morning, as I was thinking about the desperate need to sort all the piles of books and papers in my classroom that seem to have multiplied many times over, I started composing a song to the tune of "My Favorite Things." With apologies to Rodgers and Hammerstein, here is my song, dedicated to all the pilers and stackers out there: "Organization Is Just Not My Thing" Fluency worksheets: addition, subtraction, Piles of papers requiring action. Picture books scattered, still more I do bring, Organization is just not my thing. Binders and clipboards and homework to grade, Wrong unit anchor charts starting to fade. Colored paper, pipe cleaners, beads we don't string, Organization is just not my thing. At report card time, Winter, spring, fa...