#sol15 Day 15 Happy Birthday Megan!


     It's hard to imagine now a world without Megan.  Big blue eyes, blond pigtails, following me, calling me, snuggling, laughing, amazing me each day.  
     "You happy Mommy?" she asks me often, patting my face.  When she senses I'm not, usually after she's thrown a bowl of goldfish all over the floor or dumped out her juice, she says, "I'm sorry, Mommy....it was an AGZ-IDENT."
    Megan turns 2 years old tomorrow.  It has been 2 years since this loving, sweet, smart, funny, sassy girl came into our lives, completing our family.  She was the most unexpected blessing, the surprise gift I will forever be grateful for.      While Alex was the baby I prayed for, visited doctors for, closely monitored each twinge for signs of life, Megan caught me completely off-guard.  I was working with a nutritionist to lose the baby weight from Alex, getting back into the swing of teaching, and was all consumed by my 20 month old son.  Another baby felt like something we might get around to someday...maybe.  I just couldn't imagine loving anyone or anything else more than I adored Alex.  I wasn't ready. 
   But then suddenly, miraculously, fortunately, I discovered I was having another baby.  It was an amazing gift since having Alex was not effortless and involved a lot of fear and anxiety that I might never be able to be a mom.  Now, I would be a mom of two and I had to reset my goals, expectations, and vision  for our lives.  
    When I was pregnant with Alex, I read all the baby books, wrote him poems and letters, and dedicated a lot of time to thinking about being a mom.  When I was pregnant with Megan, I was already a mom, working full-time, and I didn't have the same time to write to her and read all the pregnancy updates.  I had a toddler, kindergarten kids to teach, and I was exhausted.  I find being a mom means always feeling guilty about something and the second child gets a little less of that "first time mom excitement."  
     We found out that our baby was to be Megan a couple of days before Hurricane Sandy hit.  I was sure she would be a boy since boys dominate my husband's family, but Megan surprised us once again when we found out we were having a girl! A little sister for Alex.  We bought shade of pink for her bedroom with a lamb theme for her bedding and friends and family showered us with beautiful clothes and gifts fit for a princess.  
    2 years ago, our family changed forever when Megan arrived, all 8 pounds 14 ounces of her.  She was a beautiful baby who cried a lot at first (acid reflux) and liked the white noise of the microwave vent.  She loved her brother and belly-laughed the most when he was around, doing crazy things.  This past year, she went from a cuddly, mostly stationary baby to a little girl who runs, jumps, climbs, sings, tells stories, makes "Sven Soup" (she puts the reindeer from "Frozen" on her play kitchen stove and laughs gleefully as we tell her not to cook poor Sven!).  She is affectionate and loving, independent-minded, artistic.  She loves songs and rhymes and books and people.  She is adored by many and has brought a new feeling of joy and harmony to our family.  
   Happy 2nd Birthday to my Megan, the best surprise I ever got.  
   

Comments

  1. AnonymousMarch 15, 2015 at 8:09 AM

    This is so sweet! My story is much the same--my daughter arrived almost exactly two years after my son was born and just turned one a few weeks ago. I completely relate to the guilt and exhaustion, and can feel how much you love your little girl through your beautiful words here. Enjoy celebrating her second birthday-- and many more!

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  2. AnonymousMarch 15, 2015 at 2:29 PM

    Believe it or not, your story closely parallels my own, but mine is called Christine! Yes, having two babies when you never even expected to have one can be daunting. I know how difficult it must feel every day. But I am not surprised that this lovely 2 year old is affectionate, artistic, energetic, and energizing because...she is just like her Mom!
    https://barbarasut.wordpress.com/2015/03/15/clutter-a-family-affair/

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  3. Mindi RenchMarch 15, 2015 at 9:36 PM

    Happy birthday! I always feel like people should tell the moms happy birthday on the date of their child's birth, since we're the ones who did the laboring! :-)

    What a lovely post this was. Reading it took me back to when my two girls were babies and how fraught with worry both of my pregnancies were. There's not a day that goes by that I don't send a little message of thanks out into the universe for my girls.

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