#SOL18 Day 15 Dear Megan

As I type this, in just a few hours, my little girl turns 5. After laying with her until she fell asleep, I crept downstairs to wrap her presents. One present was the book Dear Girl by Amy Krouse Rosenthal and her daughter, Paris. (Such a beautiful book- a must buy for a special girl in your life.) Here is my birthday letter to my own dear girl, Megan:

Dear Megan,

When you were younger, and trying to understand the words "son" and "daughter", I told you that you were my daughter and your brother, Alex, was my son. You replied  that you were my "son-shine". And really, that is the truth- as much as you are my daughter, you are also my sunshine. Light in dark times. A warm, snuggly hug. Radiant. The center of my world. 

From the start, you've surprised me. You've been a miracle to me in every way possible. You are funny and bubbly and so quick. You use words like "duplicate" in everyday conversation. You know all the Pokemon characters because your brother loves them, so now you collect cards, too. Your memory amazes me. You ask everyone what their name is and then tell them, "My name is Megan." 
You ask many questions and many questions I don't know the answer to. 

Sometimes, I worry I'm not the best mother for you. You like to bake from scratch and I burn the slice and bake cookies (or undercook them). You like art projects and I'm not crafty at all. I worry I am not beautiful enough for you, thin enough, a good enough cook, a good enough anything. But you only see the good in me. You are happy to just be together. To you, I'm enough. Which makes me think... maybe I really am?

As a girl, somewhere along the way, you might have these feelings too. Girls are often made to feel they are not enough- they need to be perfect in every way but not outwardly try to be perfect. We are supposed to be "mom bosses" who look fabulous, do well professionally, and handle all the mom jobs with grace and ease. It's impossible and exhausting. 

I give you chicken nuggets and microwaveable pancakes and I'm terrible at 100 day of school posters, but I love you more than the numbers we can count. Sometimes I half listen to you because I'm trying to get work done on the computer, but I still think your words are precious. 

None of this will make sense to you at 5, so I'm tucking it away here. I hope one day you'll find this, or I'll decide to show it to you. When you read it, I hope you feel how much I adore you, find you exceptional, think you are the most precious little girl I've ever dreamed of being a mommy to. You are my sunshine and along with your brother, the very best thing that ever happened to me. 

I can't wait to see what adventures being "5" brings! 



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